How can guys have the best sex possible and feel good about the decisions they are making?

Everyone is different, and gay men find themselves faced with all kinds of surprising situations when they’re hooking up, dating, or cruising. It’s pretty common for gay guys to be dealing with other things in their life that have an effect on the sex they’re having — mental health, relationships, drinking or using drugs, for instance. The world can make us feel ashamed of who we are or what kind of sex we have, making it harder for us to make choices that bring us closer to the sex we want and the good health we deserve.

Taking charge of your health can mean taking some time to check in with yourself, talking to friends, and even seeking professional help if we’re going through tough times.

Most importantly, think through the sex you want, so you can look out for yourself if challenging situations come up.

Think about the sex you’re having

There are a few questions you might ask yourself about the sex you’re having, so you can get an idea of the sex you want going forward.

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Checking in with yourself

Whether you’re picking someone up at the bar, chatting with them on an app, or reaching out to someone you’ve known for a long time, every sexual encounter is different. What’s your approach?

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Speaking up for yourself

Talking about the sex you want can be hard. And stigma, discrimination, shame, and misunderstanding make it even tougher to speak up.

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“Disclosing” is actually just sharing information. There are lots of things to think about when sharing your HIV status, trans identity, gender identity, whether you’re in a relationship, whether or not you’re PrEP, or other important information about your life.

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